Last paper today and it just ended, I do not have an ounce of excitement at all like how I normally would if I am done with exam. I have discovered a new found sadness that I have been hoping that it might just disappear. I feel that I have wasted almost my entire years of life...am I really someone that doesn't have the rights to be treated with sincerity from the bottom of people's heart? I can get treated in whatever way others pleases... I can't find that person or thing that I can find comfort from. At least if you have one just one you will be able to seek or find peace and the feeling of happiness. I came over a phrase that said ," If you feel that world turn against you, your probably the one who have turned against the world. But I feel that its the opposite way.. If I don't make a difference in anyone life why am I even here, just to add to the population?
I kept getting into the negative zones even though I tried to viewed things in a more optimistic way but it only last for a short while as it does not take long for me to realise once again that it is my reality even if I tried to be I can't change the fact. I have no strength or support provided from anyone that is free of charge. I said free of charge because some will expect you to return more to them. Without you knowing that you have unintentionally signed an agreement by stupidly thinking its just a pure hope people have given to you while its actually not. But not everyone is of course, some show you the real ones.
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