People

What's up guys!! It's about one year since I last posted. It is also about 1 year and a few months since I last graduated from my school. Time flies~  One of the peak periods of our life where we go onto separate ways from our peers and make our own decisions that holds a key to our future. Hard decisions eh? 

Sometimes we just have to go with that one instant gut feeling that burns up for a moment in us and just go for it. Never have I imagined I would be taking on a part-time degree course whilst working. F.Y.I, I just applied but the results aren't out yet. Often having sympathy for people who have to do night classes BUT look now I am gonna be in this myself as well. That's a thought that have never came across my mind. Not a night person nor a multi-tasking one so bless me in this totally new experience.

One of the thing that I hate most is when I am accused for something I had not done or when my morals are being insulted. Like bitch please, you don't have the rights to. Take for example, at your workplace when something goes wrong people will just do 'taiji' to somehow make you the blamable one. This can be a person that usually praise you or crack jokes but when it comes to protecting their own ass they suck up to the upper ups or take the chance to make you less credible. There are also disgusting liars out there lying straight in-front of your face without a blink nor do they have any guilt.

These are the different experiences that I witnessed or experienced personally. Everywhere have its own politics or just lousy attitude I guessed. Staying silent might seem cowardly, but actions speak louder than words. Continue to observe and stay true to yourself (sounding wise here). It might be hard to always be a good person but its alright to be a bad person at times. Let's embrace these as gaining life insights upon humanity and the environment around us.

YOLO will always be a kid's motto, they will just chiong to do whatever they want. SO I am gonna use this as my motto and hope that I can surprise myself by juggling both school and work at the same time. This is something I have absolutely not done before which makes it challenging. Its the challenge that makes the end result more rewarding.

Hardens up when adulthood comes

When we grow older, making mistakes will get us more severe treatment or reaction rather than being forgiven or overlooked. That's when we realised growing up isn't all that great and we all wished that we were younger once again where what we do would receive forgiveness and understanding easily. "Oh they are just kids!" , "They don't know much yet", such phrases that often surfaced. Hence, inevitably many of the kids or teenager like us are forced to harden up in order to become an adult that we cannot avoid and have to start being able to face harsher treatments for the wrong moves we did. These moves were taken much more lightly when we did the same things as a kid.

We are all still a youngster or kid in mind that are yet to fully developed or ready to become mature enough to take on this 'adult' role that have a heavy responsibility. However, not a lot of people will be sympathized of that, most would just tell you that you have to face it, grow up, this is the true reality, blah blah blah. Being an adult would mean we will receive less help as we are ought to be more capable of doing it on our own (presumed by other people) and we have to figure out ourselves. BUT the truth is, at least for me, I still need lots of help, that's why I do not want to become an adult I still need lots of guidance. The word independent is a dreadful word to me. Yes, you might disagree but that's my thought. That's why in this world, when we are all suddenly thrown somewhere where we have to pick ourselves up, which forces our young mind to have no choice but to toughen up. This brings me to my main highlight of this post, where I would like to show my gratitude to some situations (that I could recall currently) where helped were received when things were seemingly dull.

Some people are like angels (too cheesy) or like the source of light you often hear that you will see at the end of a tunnel, that shines on you. These are the people who would still give you a helping hand where we would often melt because of their actions as we grow up we seldom received such kindness that we all longed for. Therefore, it always warms our hearts when someone gives us a pushed or pulled us up when we were unable to retrieve ourselves back. Especially when we become adults if we received even a small help or act of kindness or should I say a feeling of having someone to be able to help you through patiently like how it was, in the past when we were just kids.

One of the heartwarming incidents that I still remembered were when I took up a crash course on Chemistry in school before the start of the first semester of my Polytechnic life. I totally had no Chemistry background and do not know a single thing about it as I did not take that subject during Secondary school. It was a few day course (I think) where I could not gasp some of the concepts that the lecturer was teaching. Its not a really good feeling when you don't know a single thing and some people around you just leave you there on your own to manage it yourself. However, at this moment of despair, seemingly my SOS signal seems to be heard by some angels that were sent to me.

They patiently taught me the really basic of it and simplified it so that I was able to understand. Little do they know how grateful I was and glad when I finally understood how it works. Even though the memory of the incident gets blurry but the feelings that were felt still linger on.

Another incident was during my chosen module, Photography, where I was in a class where I do not know anyone except an acquaintance I made during other school event. When our teacher starts to teach us about the manual mode of a camera and tell us to try it out ourselves in class, I was like, OH SHIT I  DON'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE SHIT ON WHAT SHE JUST SAID. Oh dear, and I have no one around me that I could ask. AND AT THIS MOMENT, the person that I am acquainted to seem to have magically sense the distress in me AND ASKED, "Do you know/understand how to use the things she just taught?" In my mind I was like 'OMO thank god,  this person saved me from my loneliness, misery and confusion!!"(sounds dramatic but you get the gist of it, that were the feelings I felt at that moment). SO he said, "Ok come, let me teach you". *Knees down on floor internally* Hallelujah!! It was the turning point for me for that class (ok that's over-exaggerated). From then on, my gratitude for the person held on. Little did he knew, that I was really grateful.

Its small acts from people like this whom voluntarily wants to help you without a price, FOC, they just want to help you out when they can. These are some of the people where we can learn something from. Sometimes, its not easy to be as selfless as certain people.

I would like to thank *holding a trophy behind a column* (like star awards) anyone that have did any really small simple acts that had help me in some ways. Hope this post has struck something in your heart. Till the next time.

Graduating

Hopefully, Two more months I will be graduating if all is well. You will always missed a place after you can't go back the same place anymore. We would always complain but when we ain't there anymore we would wish to turn back time to where we were. 

So its time I make use of the last few months to create even more memories so that I will have lesser regrets saying, "Why haven't I done this the last time?". Sometimes there's a saying, 'We have nothing to lose since we are still young' other than embarrassment. Just feel embarrassed and whatever for now. At least, I had already tried out the things I have never done. Just explore and try to gain experiences so you will have interesting stories to tell your grandchildren or others when you grow old. Like " You know ah last time I like that or like this you know" etc. Its like you can show off of the little or big things you did in the past that impacted you in a way or other or it may not but it gives you some compelling things to share with people.

Just like how I had regrets that I should have taken part in more activities during my secondary school days. The pages in my life history could have been filled up more if I was more proactive those times. When days are close, is then, where you realized you haven't been doing much so NOW we have to create more and capture all the moments down. Sometimes, there will be good moments that I would want to imprint it in my memory so I would keep my mind wide open and 'scan or feel' the atmosphere and that current feel I am having so that even after a long time passed, when I recall I would still have that vivid feeling. Meh but it often fails, as my memory is not that good, after awhile it fades away so its best if it could be captured down by photographs so we can browsed through whenever we want.

If you have people crazy enough to do it with you to create more memorable times before it ends, go ahead and do it. *Feeling all wise at my own sentence made*

Sometimes don't you wished there were someone recording down the live moment and capture them when they are happening?!! 

Hopefully, I will have people I can visit when I come back to reminisce the older days during the time when I am still in this school. Its different when you become 'outside' of the school as you won't get to know the internal information as well as when you are still a student there. 

Its time when you start acting and add more colours in before the opportunity ends.